Early June is always graduation time. I have been to many high school graduation ceremonies in my family for nephews and nieces. Sometimes they are painfully long… literally painful for me since I need to be moved occasionally and the longer I wait the more painful it gets. But the one I went to this year went by quickly and was well organized. However I did leave after my nephew crossed the stage mostly because I was “illegally parked” in the passageway.

The addresses given by the prominent students were typical with each adding his own personal flair. They said the usual things about moving forward in life and contributing to society to change the world. Great stuff! Keep on dreaming and striving because that’s what life is about. Everyone needs a goal to accomplish and not get lost in the narcissistic common culture. Oooo… big words and a bit cliché.

I can’t help but feel like I am standing on the outside looking in. Sure I have accomplished more than most with my limitations but I feel like I’m missing the most important thing. That is first person involvement with a family of my own. Mostly I always hoped for at least a partner, my soulmate, a wife. Then maybe I would feel like part of the “real world”. Some of my friends would say I’m lucky NOT to be married because I’m free and marriage isn’t all it’s cracked up to be. I digress.

What brings on this train of thought is a graduation party that I went to for the son of an old friend. The old friend is the sister of one of the friends of mine who had DMD and lived next door to me in college. He has been gone now 27 years which means I have outlived him by more than twice. I have been in this situation before when I see a picture on the wall of an old friend and wonder why I am still here. I hope there is a reason for my continued ordeal when I could have had hero status in a prominent place on someone’s wall. I know there is a reason.

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